We are all in various relationships. Every one last one of us. Many are healthy and life-giving. Some not so much. Every relationship will have at least some conflict because every relationship is made up of two people are imperfect. Some dysfunction is because of you. Some dysfunction is because of the other party. We can’t control the other party in the relationship, but we are responsible for our own actions. Here are sixteen things you can do to relate better to others.
- Be present.We live in an age of distraction. Multitasking and distractions cause us to give less than our best to others. Giving others our full attention is a blessing to the other person and the relationship.
- Schedule quality time.We live in an age of busyness. We are activity rich and relationship poor. Quality time doesn’t happen on accident. It happens on purpose. So schedule quality time.
- Clarify expectations.Unmet expectations cause disappointment and despair. Unclear expectations can never be met. Most of us can’t read minds, so set the relationship up for success by lovingly communicate your hopes to the other person.
- Actively listen. Nod. Smile. Show the other person you care about what they are saying.
- Don’t overtalk.Few things exist that are more annoying than the middle of your sentence interrupting the beginning of somebody else’s. Overtalking is a selfish behavior indicating that the interrupter’s words are more important than the interrupted’s words. Stop doing this.
- Listen to understand. Relational intimacy only happens when two people understand each other. Seek understanding.
- Be kind.There is never a wrong time to be kind.
- Take a time out.Conflict will happen. It doesn’t need to be resolved right away. Stop. Cool down. Reflect. Pray. Seek advice. Then resolve later in a better environment.
- Tone down your tone.Someone once said, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” They were correct.
- Encourage more than you criticize. Your words matter. They either build up or tear down. Use good words.
- Express gratitude.Taking the other person for granted is a guaranteed path to relationship destruction. Let the other party regularly know you are beyond grateful for them.
- Don’t expect perfection.Expecting perfection from the other party creates anxiety for them and disappointment for you.
- Be patient.Life doesn’t always happen on your schedule. Deal with it. For the sake of others and your sake too.
- Forgive quickly.Keeping score creates winners and losers. And a guaranteed loser is the relationship.
- Say “I’m sorry” more often.Pride destroys relationships. Humility builds them.
- Let small stuff go.Many relationships die because of battles that should never be fought. Let small stuff go.

