{"id":1359,"date":"2016-10-28T14:16:06","date_gmt":"2016-10-28T14:16:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/craigfinnestad.com\/?p=1359"},"modified":"2016-10-28T14:18:15","modified_gmt":"2016-10-28T14:18:15","slug":"my-constant-companion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/craigfinnestad.com\/?p=1359","title":{"rendered":"My Constant Companion"},"content":{"rendered":"

A short piece on perfectionism that will appear in Prayer’s from The Water’s Edge.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have a companion. I\u2019ve known her since childhood. When I ran races in high school and college she made me run one more mile. As a student she made me proofread essays one more time and listen to the tape of the class to make sure I didn\u2019t miss anything important the first time around. As a pastor she makes me wonder if I am doing a good enough job or not.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll give her credit where it is due. Any excellence I have achieved, I most likely owe to her. I have some medals and trophies and diplomas and awards. She helped me attain every one of them.<\/p>\n

She also caused me a lot of stress over the years. The extra miles caused a dozen injuries. The pages cost me social interaction. Reading and writing are done alone. I think of the times the boys wanted me to play or talk and I was too busy or distracted doing the work of the church. For all her possibilities, in the grand scheme of things, she has been a pretty cruel companion.<\/p>\n

Her name: Perfectionism.<\/p>\n

When I was a kid, I heard a saying from many people I looked up to: \u201cIf you can\u2019t do it right, don\u2019t do it at all.\u201d I wish I hadn\u2019t listened.<\/p>\n

I think of the people I didn\u2019t meet. The things I didn\u2019t try. The opportunities I missed. The days filled with stress. The unnecessary nights of anxiety. Perfectionism fears rejection and failure.<\/p>\n

Although I still occasionally call on her, she is no longer welcome in my life because I finally figured something out: I\u2019m not perfect. Perfectionism sent me on an incessant and endless chase of the unattainable. I jumped off that treadmill. I\u2019m not recovered, but recovering.<\/p>\n

I still set goals, but they are more attainable these days. I\u2019m more likely to say \u201cno\u201d to people than I was a decade ago. I see the value in failure and the lessons it teaches. I\u2019m becoming fine with not being able to please everybody all the time. Rejection from people will happen; so does acceptance from God. I\u2019ll most likely never take a casual approach to quality in my work, but I am learning to accept good enough.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I wonder if life\u2019s tasks become more important than people. Or if the quest for the perfect life becomes more important than a quest for the perfect Christ. Embrace imperfection. It happens. We are human. A human who is loved by a perfect God who gives Himself for you and to you daily.<\/p>\n

\"dsc03568\"

Not quite a perfect photo. Gudvangen, Norway<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A short piece on perfectionism that will appear in Prayer’s from The Water’s Edge. I have a companion. I\u2019ve known her since childhood. When I ran races in high school and college she made me run one more mile. As…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1361,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,73],"tags":[122,113],"class_list":["post-1359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-photography","category-spiritual-formation","tag-perfectionism","tag-prayers-from-the-waters-edge"],"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\n\n\t\n