WE have been talking about relationships for the last month at The Water\u2019s Edge. This week\u2019s topic is how have tough conversations. The following are ten phrases that are going to make any conversation more difficult. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. Don\u2019t take this the wrong way\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Nothing good has ever followed this phase. Ever. It comes off as: \u201cI\u2019m going to criticize you. Don\u2019t get mad at me, I\u2019m just the messenger.\u201d Offer loving, specific, constructive feedback instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. I assume\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Assuming leads to assumptions and assumptions are often wrong. A better idea is to ask clarifying questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. You never \/ You always\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This one is like fingernails slowly racing down a chalkboard. Only worse. It is rare somebody is always at fault or never does anything right. A better phrasing than \u201cYou never listen\u201d is \u201cI feel when I\u2019m speaking that you aren\u2019t always listening well. Can you help me with this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. ASAP<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Every time you use this phrase you are communicating that your priorities are more important than somebody else\u2019s schedule. Instead, set reasonable expectations and deadlines both parties agree to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Whatever.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Imagine mixing mustard and chocolate ice cream. The marriage of the words \u201cwhat\u201d and \u201cever\u201d is the verbal equivalent. The one who says \u201cwhatever\u201d ruins the possibility of meaningful communication. Although if \u201cwhatever\u201d is a vocabulary option\u2014that conversation wasn\u2019t going too far anyway. Use better words. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 6. As I said before\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You could just say something like: \u201cIf you would have paid attention when I was talking earlier then you would have saved me the effort of repeating myself.\u201d Although that would be pretty toxic too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 7. You need to\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n What you are really communicating is that you are more capable of determining somebody else\u2019s priorities for them than they are for themselves. Don\u2019t communicate that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 8. I\u2019m sorry if\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The first two-thirds of the phrase is great. That last little word is a killer. \u201cI\u2019m sorry if I hurt you\u201d has a much different that \u201cI\u2019m sorry I hurt you.\u201d The latter is a genuine apology and the former acknowledges no ownership from the apologizer but instead puts the blame on the one who is hurt. Either apologize or don\u2019t. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" WE have been talking about relationships for the last month at The Water\u2019s Edge. This week\u2019s topic is how have tough conversations. The following are ten phrases that are going to make any conversation more difficult. 1. Don\u2019t take this…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2015,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[155],"class_list":["post-2010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-formation","tag-communication"],"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\n\n\t\n